How to Calm Kids Before an Exam: Expert Strategies to Reduce Exam Stress in Children
Exam season can be tough not only for students preparing for GCSEs, SATs, or mock exams, but also for parents watching their child navigate the pressure. A little stress can be motivating, but for many young people it becomes overwhelming, leading to anxiety that hinders performance. This article offers an evidence-based guide to help your child manage stress, revise effectively, and enter the exam hall with confidence.
High anxiety can affect concentration, memory, and even physical health. By spotting early signs of distress and using practical coping strategies, you can build a calm, supportive environment that helps your child thrive—not just survive—through exam season.
Notice Early Signs of Exam Stress
One of the most valuable things you can do to help your child is become attuned to the subtle, and sometimes not-so-subtle, indicators that they are experiencing stress. Early detection allows you to intervene before anxiety escalates into panic, exhaustion, or poor sleep — and helps prevent burnout.
Physical signs to watch for
Stress isn’t just mental; it’s physical. The body reacts to perceived threats (like an impending exam) by releasing stress hormones. Parents should be vigilant for:
- Headaches and Stomachaches: Frequent, unexplained physical complaints, especially those that arise or worsen around exam time.
- Tiredness/Fatigue: Despite getting a good night’s sleep, your child may still feel constantly exhausted or have low energy levels.
- Changes in Appetite or Sleep: Either overeating or a loss of appetite; difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, or early waking. This disruption in sleep patterns is a common physical manifestation of exam stress.
Emotional and behavioral signs
A child under intense pressure often struggles to regulate their emotions and behavior. Look for:
- Irritability and Low Mood: Becoming quickly frustrated, snapping at family members, or showing signs of sadness or withdrawal.
- Crying or Withdrawal: Increased tearfulness or choosing to spend excessive time alone, avoiding usual social interactions.
- Perfectionism and Avoidance: Becoming fixated on every detail of their revision schedule or, conversely, procrastinating completely and finding excuses not to study. This kind of self-doubt is often a key driver of anxiety.
- Increased Neediness: Younger children — and sometimes older ones — may regress slightly, seeking extra reassurance or wanting a parent close by.
| Sign Category | Specific Indicators of Exam Stress |
| Physical | Frequent headaches, stomach pains, changes in eating, or difficulty getting a good night’s sleep. |
| Emotional | Irritable, excessive worrying, sadness, or sudden bursts of anger. |
| Behavioral | Social withdrawal, difficulty concentrating, avoiding revision, or constant need for reassurance. |
When to seek professional help
It’s normal to feel anxious, but when stress symptoms are persistent and interfere significantly with daily life—like refusing to go to school, having recurrent panic attacks, or expressing intense low mood—it’s time to seek additional support. If your child’s distress lasts for several weeks, or if you notice a significant decline in their wellbeing, a consultation with your GP, a school counsellor, or a mental health professional is warranted. Early intervention is crucial if your child is struggling to cope or using negative self-talk.
Create a Calm and Supportive Environment at Home
The home environment plays a direct role in a child’s ability to beat exam stress. Your job as a parent is to be the anchor—a source of peace and stability during this turbulent time.
Set up a quiet study space
A designated quiet area signals that revision matters — but it shouldn’t feel like a punishment.
- Design a space that is clean, well-lit, and relatively clutter-free. Messy environments can increase cognitive load and stress.
- Ensure your child has a comfortable chair and desk. Let them personalise the space a little, but keep distractions such as phones and TV out of sight.
- The study space should be associated with focused work, not relaxation or sleep.
Keep family atmosphere relaxed
Children absorb the tension of the adults around them. Stay calm yourself, and model a relaxed approach.
- Avoid comparisons: Never measure your child’s performance or study habits against siblings, friends, or your own past experiences. Comparisons are highly detrimental to self-esteem and only add pressure.
- Avoid arguments: Try to minimize family conflict and keep discussions light and positive, especially around exams.
- Remember to let your child take breaks and have fun. The atmosphere should emphasize life continuing alongside the exam, not being consumed by it.
Encourage calm communication
How you talk to your child matters immensely. Your words should be reassuring and non-judgmental.
- Use supportive phrases like: “I see how hard you are working, and I’m proud of your effort,” or “Your value isn’t tied to your results.”
- Talk openly about exam nerves, normalizing the experience. Remind your child that it’s normal to feel nervous, and it’s a sign that they care about their success.
- Ask open-ended questions about their study, such as, “How is the revision plan working for you today?” instead of, “Have you finished studying yet?”
Build a Balanced Study Routine
The most effective revision is organized, structured, and includes adequate rest. A well-planned routine is one of the top tips for anxiety reduction because it restores a sense of control and predictability. Help your child create a schedule that genuinely works for them.
Plan short, focused study sessions
The human brain, particularly that of a young person, benefits immensely from short, intense bursts of focus followed by breaks.
- Utilize the Pomodoro Technique: Encourage 25-minute study intervals followed by a 5-minute break. After four cycles, a longer 20-30 minute break is essential. This helps to prevent mental fatigue and reduce anxiety.
- Manageable chunks: Remind your child to break down large tasks or entire subjects into manageable chunks. This makes the workload feel less intimidating and allows them to track progress, which is a significant motivator.
Mix subjects strategically
Studying the same subject for hours can lead to diminishing returns.
- Alternate subjects: Encourage your child to switch between challenging topics (like maths) and lighter ones (such as history or art). This uses different parts of the brain and helps refresh focus.
- Start with the hard stuff: Often, the most challenging subjects require the highest energy levels. Suggest tackling these earlier in the day when the mind is freshest.
Avoid last-minute cramming
While a little review on the day of the exam is fine, hours of intense cramming on the night before an exam is counterproductive.
- Explain why: Cramming increases stress hormones and overloads short-term memory without improving long-term retention. Poor sleep immediately before a test significantly impairs recall.
- Focus on organization: Good organisation throughout the exam season is the antidote to last-minute panic. Encourage regular, spaced-out reviews of material.
Encourage Relaxation and Mindfulness
Teaching your child practical ways to calm their nervous system is a lifelong skill, not just an exam time trick. These techniques are vital for overcoming self-doubt and managing high emotion.
Simple breathing exercises
Deep, slow breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system — the body’s natural relaxation response.
- 4-7-8 Technique: Teach them to inhale slowly for 4 seconds, hold the breath for 7 seconds, and exhale slowly through the mouth for 8 seconds. Repeating this 3-4 times can quickly soothe exam nerves.
- Use visual cues: Younger children may find it helpful to imagine their stomach is a balloon filling and emptying with air.
Relaxing bedtime routine
A consistent, soothing routine is key to getting a good night’s sleep. This is non-negotiable for cognitive performance.
- Winding down: Encourage activities like reading a physical book (not on a screen), listening to gentle music, or taking a warm bath or shower about an hour before their target bedtime.
- Digital detox: Blue light from phones and tablets suppresses melatonin, delaying sleep. Ensure all screen time ceases at least 60-90 minutes before bed.
Use positive visualization
Positive visualization can significantly boost confidence and counter self-doubt.
- Imagine success: Help your child visualize themselves walking into the exam hall feeling calm and prepared, sitting down, reading the questions with clarity, and leaving the room feeling satisfied with their effort. This isn’t about visualizing a perfect grade, but a focused, calm performance.
Support Healthy Daily Habits
Diet, hydration, and rest are the foundations of mental performance. Neglecting these areas is a fast track to fatigue and heightened anxiety.
Healthy meals before exams
The brain runs on glucose, so steady, sustained energy is required.
- Protein-rich breakfasts: Ensure your child has a protein-rich breakfast with complex carbohydrates, such as scrambled eggs on wholemeal toast, or Greek yogurt with fruit and oats. This avoids the sugar crash associated with high-sugar cereals.
- Avoid heavy meals: Suggest light, balanced meals that won’t cause sluggishness, and steer clear of overly processed foods.
Maintain proper hydration
Even mild dehydration can impair concentration and memory.
- Water is best: Remind your child to drink water regularly throughout the day, especially during revision and on the day of the exam.
- Avoidance: Limit caffeine, high-sugar energy drinks, and excessive sodas, as these can spike anxiety and disrupt sleep patterns.
Ensure enough sleep
The most critical factor for consolidation of learning and optimal performance is sleep.
- Golden rule: Teenagers generally need 8–10 hours of sleep each night. Help your child get to bed early enough to achieve this, especially in the week leading up to the exam. Research consistently shows that better sleep — in terms of quality, duration and regularity — is associated with higher academic performance, rather than relying on last-minute cramming.
Motivate Without Adding Pressure
Your role is to be a motivator and a buffer against the external pressure of exam time. Genuine motivation comes from recognizing effort, not from the fear of disappointing others.
Focus on effort, not grades
This mindset is key to fostering resilience and a growth mentality.
- Praise persistence: Say, “You worked hard on that difficult concept; that shows real dedication,” instead of just, “I hope you get an A.” This encourages your child to value the learning process over the outcome.
- Remind your child that their best effort is all anyone can ask for.
Avoid comparing with others
As mentioned, comparison is a thief of joy and confidence. Encourage your child to focus solely on their own progress and goals.
Talk openly about exam nerves
Sharing your own experiences of feeling anxious or having a difficult exam can create a strong, empathetic connection.
- Normalize the feeling: “It’s okay to feel anxious; I always felt nervous before big presentations, too. What helps me is…” This models healthy coping strategies and shows them that feeling nervous doesn’t mean they will fail.
Help the Night Before an Exam
The night before an exam should be about winding down and preparation, not intensive study. This is when parents should take the lead in creating a predictable, peaceful routine.
Pack essentials together
A simple checklist prevents last-minute panic about forgotten items on exam day.
| Item | Why it’s Essential |
| Pens and Pencils | At least two of each, packed and tested. |
| ID/Candidate Number | Required for entry into the exam hall. |
| Calculator/Equipment | With spare batteries; ensure it’s the right model. |
| Water Bottle | Clear bottle, full of water, to maintain hydration. |
| Snack | A light, non-messy protein-rich snack for the break or right after. |
Limit screen time
Ensure that devices are put away early—at least 90 minutes before the target sleep time. This helps to quiet the mind and promote the onset of sleep.
Keep bedtime calm and early
The priority is getting a good night’s sleep. Use the relaxing bedtime routine discussed earlier. End the evening with calm reassurance and unconditional support.
Encourage Light Activity and Breaks
Physical activity is a powerful stress reliever. It helps reduce cortisol (the stress hormone) and boosts endorphins, which improve mood.
Short walks or stretching
Movement breaks should be non-strenuous and easily accessible.
- During Revision: A 10-minute walk outside or a few minutes of simple stretching/yoga helps to break concentration fatigue and allows the brain to process information.
- On the Day of the Exam: A brisk walk to school or a few minutes of quiet stretching before leaving home can help burn off nervous energy.
Outdoor time
Spending time in natural light helps regulate the sleep–wake cycle, boosts energy, and reduces anxiety. Make sure your child gets at least 30 minutes of daylight exposure a day.
Fun activities as rewards
Integrate genuinely enjoyable, non-study activities into the routine.
- Positive Motivation: Use hobbies, family games, or watching a favorite movie as rewards for completing manageable chunks of study. This reinforces the idea that life and fun haven’t stopped entirely.
Stay Calm Yourself
The most important tool in your kit for helping children beat exam stress is your own composure. Your emotional state is infectious.
Model calm reactions
If your child is irritable or panicking, reacting with frustration or anxiety will only amplify their distress.
- Be Composed: Practice deep breathing yourself before responding to their panic. A simple, “I understand you’re feeling panicked right now. Let’s take a break and breathe together,” is far more effective than an anxious, “Why haven’t you started studying yet?”
Manage your own expectations
Remember the long game. This exam is one step in a long journey.
- Focus on Development: Encourage your child to recognise the skills they are building — resilience, time management, and a strong work ethic — rather than just their GCSE grade or SATs score.
Show unconditional support
Your child needs to know that your love and acceptance are not conditional on their performance. Remind your child of this often.
When to Get Extra Help
If, despite your best efforts, your child continues to experience stress that feels out of control, it is essential to seek external, professional support.
School counsellor or teacher support
School staff are well-placed to assist.
- Contact the School: Contact your child’s tutor, Head of Year, or school counsellor to discuss concerns about workload, anxiety levels, or potential additional support they may offer, such as access arrangements or extra study sessions.
Talk to a psychologist or GP
A GP can assess physical issues caused by stress and provide referrals to specialists, while a child psychologist can help your child develop advanced coping strategies and address underlying anxieties.
Useful hotlines and online resources
In the UK, several resources offer immediate support:
- Childline: Offers free, confidential support for young people up to the age of 19. They can talk to someone about anything.
- Samaritans: Available 24/7 for anyone experiencing a crisis or feeling overwhelmed.
- YoungMinds: A mental health charity for children and young people, providing resources and advice for both them and their parents.
FAQs
What should my child eat before an exam?
A light, protein-rich breakfast with complex carbohydrates (e.g., oats, eggs, wholemeal toast) is ideal. Avoid large amounts of sugar or heavy, fatty foods that can lead to a crash or sluggishness. Maintaining proper hydration is equally important.
How much sleep do kids need before exams?
Most adolescents and young people need 8-10 hours of sleep. The sleep they get two nights before an exam is arguably more important than the night before an exam, but the goal should always be 8-10 hours to ensure optimal memory consolidation and focus.
How can I help my child overcome panic attacks?
Guide them immediately to deep breathing exercises (like the 4-7-8 technique). Reassure them using a calm, soft voice, remind your child that the feeling will pass, and focus on grounding them in the present (e.g., “Tell me five things you can see right now”). If they are recurring, seek help from a mental health professional.
Should I let my child take a day off before exams?
Yes, if the plan is to use that day for rest, light revision, fun, and relaxation, not cramming. A day to de-stress, do some physical activity, and help your child stay calm can be extremely beneficial.
How to calm a child right before entering the exam room?
Keep the atmosphere light. Walk slowly, offer a hug or a reassuring touch, encourage your child to take five slow, deep breaths, and remind them of this: “You’ve worked hard, you are prepared, and you are going to do your best. I’m proud of you no matter what.” Their performance is not a reflection of your love.